Thursday, 9 April 2009

Personality Deficient

Work finished early today, so I thought I'd continue my hate/hate relationship with online tournaments and promptly lost $600 without ever coming close to the money. I played poorly, but seemed to be cold decked a lot.

The highlights:

- Held AA on a board of AK78K whilst going well in a $100 tournie. Lost to KK. Money all went in on the river after we both slow played.
- Flopped 9 high diamond flush out of small blind when average stack in a $75 tournie - other guy has ten high flush
- Held QQ on KQxx board in UB tournie - got it in against KQ - river = K

I'm not really complaining as I didn't play well. In 2007 and 2008 I was dynamite in online tournaments, taking down about 85k in profit. Now I am just making up the numbers. I actually canned 2 tournaments with average stack tonight - there is just no point, so I might as well be blinded off.

Not sure what the answer is. My son, girlfriend, friends and family are fantastic, but I just seem to get down on myself and that clouds everything.

Clearly I've had a few wines before this post, but maybe it's good to get stuff off the chest. However, it seems the upcoming Vegas trip is a car crash waiting to happen.

I think time and again how lucky I am - there are millions of people in the world who are much worse off either financially or health wise. Despite this self coaching I am unable to lift this downer.

I need to lift out of this pathetic self-pity, but whether I have the strength to do this is another matter.

About to play football manager...........anger factor about to rise by a multiple of ten.

Apologies readers for you wasting five minutes to read this drivel.

P&L GBP 2009
Live Tournaments (20)
Live Cash 478
Online Tournaments (1,867)
Online Cash (250)
Poker Festivals (675)
Rake (993)

Total (3,788)


Anonymous said...

No need to apologise Jimbo, only took me 30 seconds to read!! Chin up!!! ;-) chanchan

Scampman said...

Same here Jim, we all enjoy your blog, when I'm playing badly I play Far Cry or Call of Duty and shoot people. It works for me.

Yorkshire Pud said...

You don't suddenly turn into a bad player overnight mate. Keep your chin up and grind it out and it'll turn good again.

As for feeling down, I've suffered with depression quite a few times and a lot of it was down to excessive drinking and the occassional substances!