Thursday, 9 April 2009

Personality Deficient

Work finished early today, so I thought I'd continue my hate/hate relationship with online tournaments and promptly lost $600 without ever coming close to the money. I played poorly, but seemed to be cold decked a lot.

The highlights:

- Held AA on a board of AK78K whilst going well in a $100 tournie. Lost to KK. Money all went in on the river after we both slow played.
- Flopped 9 high diamond flush out of small blind when average stack in a $75 tournie - other guy has ten high flush
- Held QQ on KQxx board in UB tournie - got it in against KQ - river = K

I'm not really complaining as I didn't play well. In 2007 and 2008 I was dynamite in online tournaments, taking down about 85k in profit. Now I am just making up the numbers. I actually canned 2 tournaments with average stack tonight - there is just no point, so I might as well be blinded off.

Not sure what the answer is. My son, girlfriend, friends and family are fantastic, but I just seem to get down on myself and that clouds everything.

Clearly I've had a few wines before this post, but maybe it's good to get stuff off the chest. However, it seems the upcoming Vegas trip is a car crash waiting to happen.

I think time and again how lucky I am - there are millions of people in the world who are much worse off either financially or health wise. Despite this self coaching I am unable to lift this downer.

I need to lift out of this pathetic self-pity, but whether I have the strength to do this is another matter.

About to play football manager...........anger factor about to rise by a multiple of ten.

Apologies readers for you wasting five minutes to read this drivel.

P&L GBP 2009
Live Tournaments (20)
Live Cash 478
Online Tournaments (1,867)
Online Cash (250)
Poker Festivals (675)
Rake (993)

Total (3,788)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

No need to apologise Jimbo, only took me 30 seconds to read!! Chin up!!! ;-) chanchan

Scampman said...

Same here Jim, we all enjoy your blog, when I'm playing badly I play Far Cry or Call of Duty and shoot people. It works for me.

Yorkshire Pud said...

You don't suddenly turn into a bad player overnight mate. Keep your chin up and grind it out and it'll turn good again.

As for feeling down, I've suffered with depression quite a few times and a lot of it was down to excessive drinking and the occassional substances!