Wednesday, 10 June 2009

An Algerian in Burnley

People from Burnley are deeply amusing. Many moons ago, when Watford and Burnley were both in League Two, I remember coming across a bunch of Burnley fans as I was returning to my car after the opening game of the season. In the early August sunshine they were crossing the car park, skinheads shining in the sun, tattoos resplendent and it is no exaggeration to say that some of the beasts' knuckles were literally dragging along the tarmac.

At this point one of the pack veered off from the main skinhead platoon and began giving one of my friends grief for no reason whatsoever. I decided to engage him in conversation along the lines of "we aren't looking for trouble", but then I realised there were going to be communication issues. At first I thought he was either deaf, or mentally handicapped, but soon it became apparent that he only had three brain cells at his disposal, and unfortunately was unable to string together a verb and a noun, never mind a sentence. We decided evacuation was the best alternative and made haste, before the skinhead army decided to use us as stress balls. The Premiership awaits these ambassadors' arrival with baiting breath.

Unsurprisingly, Burnley is BNP country, and at present in our local cash game I feel about as welcome as a homosexual Algerian prancing around in Burnley town centre.

I have taken to playing all sort of nonsense in big pots, such at K7, 78 and 52 all sooted of course. Unfortunately for my opponents I am hitting. EVERYTHING. Last night I ran up £1,070 of profit, mostly from when behind. I simply can't miss.

My confidence is huge at the moment - I feel like every single hand I play is going to flop big time.

PLEASE CAN THIS CONTINUE FOR TWO MORE WEEKS!

Next post will be a report from the Venetian.

P&L GBP 2009
Live Tournaments (750)
Live Cash 2,566
Online Tournaments (1,312)
Online Cash 598
Poker Festivals (675)
Rake (1,827)

Total (1,400)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Luck in Vegas!

Scampman said...

Some folks have these communication issues, especially when communicating with multi-celled organisms. Good luck in Vegas!! Get it warmed up for me..