Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Mor--a---lee !

In my opinion, the worst player ever to take his place in the Watford forward line was Jamie Moralee, and believe me there is quite heavy competition for this accolade. Mr Moralee arrived from Millwall in the summer of 1994 for a substantial fee at the time of £425,000, and a fairly impressive track record and reputation.

It was immediately clear however that this was a disastrous piece of business. Lightweight and easy to knock off the ball with a powderpuff shot. Ah-ha perhaps he makes up for this with lightening pace? Nope. Good in the air? Nope. Creates opportunities for others? No. Great position sense? No.

So as a striker, no redeeming attributes, which was exacerbated by an understandable dip in confidence. However, in an amusing twist it seems he was gifted in other areas. A few years after he had left Watford on a free transfer, I was reading an interview with Daniella Westbrook in Loaded, or some such nonsense, while waiting for my bouffant to be attended to. It transpires that Mr Moralee was a former flame of Mrs Westbrook and left a rather striking impression on her.

In typical Loaded style the interview turned to sex, and the sophisticated Mrs Westbook gushed that while she had many a powerful male lover, Jamie Moralee was the "Guv'nor". What!!??

I quote: "He(Moralee) was really good in bed. Everything was done good. He was a giver, not a reciever. He also had a big **** " !!??

I have since mused, that perhaps old "Tripod" Moralee was hindered in his performances for the Golden Boys, by the excessive appendage he had to carry round the pitch with him while chasing the hopeful through balls from the midfield clubbers.

Moralee's first goal in his 10th start was a rare moment. Yet another hopeful through ball was bobbling between Moralee and a Luton defender and old Tripod sticks out a lanky leg. And..........scores! Moralee seems as surprised as anybody, but nonetheless runs over to the home support, arms outstretched as if he has just realised he is the second messiah. To add balance to this report, I might add the the previously solid Hornets defence were so shocked by this development, that they managed to concede FOUR goals in twenty minutes either side of halftime.

Result notwithstanding, perhaps this goal would spur Tripod to match his bedroom form on the football pitch. Nope. 7 goals in 70 odd appearances led to a free transfer to Crewe. Somehow, the Loaded magazine leads me to reminisce fondly of Mr Moralee's time at Watford, even though he was dreadful in my eyes.

On the poker front I had my Moralee moment on Sunday. After a wretched two weeks in which time I have done the best part of 2k, I registered a $400 win online on the Omaha cash tables. It could have been significantly more as well - I lost a $700 pot all in on the flop, my set of Kings verses bare Aces verses low mini wrap. The wrap takes it down.

Whilst this isn't enough to make up for the last fortnight, perhaps I will push on from here and make a comeback. Otherwise I may end up in the poker equivalent of Crewe.

It starts tonight in the LC cash game invitational. Bring it on :)

P&L GBP 2009
Live Tournaments (910)
Live Cash 1,361
Online Tournaments (1972)
Online Cash 966
Poker Festivals (3,113)
Rake (2,157)

Total (5,825)

No comments: